I forgot part of the story from my last post: The Horror of Urban Exploration. I’m sorry. I am a terrible person. I am a forgetful person. I am a person with ADHD…
And you know what they say about ADHD, right? You don’t? Well, hell!
Ask me about my attention deficit disorder… or pie… or my cat. Wait! A dog!. I have a bike. Do you like tv? I saw a rock. Hi.
Well… you get the point.
When I went into the building to take my photos, there were six or seven children in the neighborhood all playing… Like children do. Or, rather, like I assume children do. For all I know, they spend their time plotting my downfall… Or I might just be paranoid, but I don’t think so.
I walked out of the building and the children were all gathered along the fence, having heard the scream. You didn’t read the last post? Shame on you… Recap: I was taking photos in a school that was pretty much destroyed by Hurricane
fuck-em-all Katrina. I heard someone… something… well, hell… I heard a cat wearing boots. I know you are picturing Puss in Boots, but this guy was an ass. ANYWAY… I backed away from the approaching *Shuffle Thump* only to hear a raspy groany sound RIGHT behind me and someone GRABBED MY BACKPACK… only it wasn’t someone… it was a pipe hanging from the ceiling. When the pipe person grabbed me I SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL!
So, when I left the school, these children were gathered along the fence waiting. As I walked to them, I am pretty sure my face was glowing in the fading sunlight… it felt like it was on fire. The smallest of the children cleared his throat.
I stopped and looked down at him. (I’m 6’9″, so it was a ways down.) He looked up at me through the clouds and said, “Was there someoneone else in there with you?”
I could have told him, “Yeah… and I rocked her world!” but I was kind of feeling emasculated so I couldn’t summon that bravado.
I could have said, “Yeah, and you’re next!” but I was already kind of technically trespassing and the police have those shiny bracelets that just don’t go with anything else I own.
I could have said, “Go f&*% yourself!” but there were, like, six or seven of them and I wasn’t sure I had the testosterone left to survive a confrontation after that screaming display of manliness.
So I did the only thing I could… I looked at him and said, “Yup! That was ALL ME, BUDDY!
UPDATE!!! The second.
As I sat here reading this aloud…
Yes, I read these aloud. It is a valid form of proof reading. Reading things out loud utilizes a different part of the brain so you catch things you wouldn’t otherwise… Ya know what? I don’t owe you an explanation!
As I sat here reading this aloud, I look over and I see my cat, Lilly.
She is sitting there, listening to every word I say…
And. She. Is. Judging. Me.
I knew you wouldn’t believe me so I took a picture of her judging me… here it is.
|This is Lilly. She IS judging me. And you.|
See? Do you see??? I told you! That cat is full of judgement!Follow me on social media... You know you want to!