I make it a rule not to bash something that I have not experienced. So, this last holiday season, I set out to watch the Harry Potter Movies. As much as it disturbs me to say, I enjoyed them. Very much… HOWEVER, they left me with a mighty metric ton of questions.
- Voldemort is supposed to be the ultimate evil of this world. What’s his beef with England? I mean, really. Why not the USA? Oh, wait… that’s right… there is no mention of America in the movies… ok… why not France? We KNOW there is a school there.
- In the final battle, which is supposed to be for the fate of the ENTIRE MAGICAL WORLD… Where were the students from the French school and the Durmstrang institute?
- The great hall is small. It is TOO small. These are all of the students from ALL OVER England. 7 years, 4 houses – that hall is too small to contain them all. I mean, look at the number of adults in the Ministry of Magic. There would have to be a lot more room to contain all their children. Which brings me to this:
- Why is there only one school in England? Seriously. With the distaste for the “Mudbloods” from the “Purebloods”, you’d think there would be more than one school.
- Hagrid is half giant. His mother is giant… his father human… HOW DOES THIS WORK? I mean, talk about a hot-dog and a hallway. That was rude, and I’m sorry… but seriously… HOW DOES THIS WORK???
- Okay… Nearly Headless Nick gets to become a ghost. In the book, there was mention of “unfinished business.” Wouldn’t you say that Dumbledore has this? Unfinished business? Why isn’t Dumbledore a ghost?
- How does Voldemort get his wand back? He used it in Harry’s house and is blown to bits… That means it should have been there… did no one search for clues? Did they just leave it there?
- Why the hell was Peter Pettigrew sorted to Gryffindor? They are supposed to be brave and noble… and Pettigrew was a sniveling coward of a man.
- The Marauder’s Map. How the hell did Fred and George NOT NOTICE that Pettigrew was next to him in their years of mischief making?
- Hermione is tired her entire third year… Why didn’t she just use the time turner and and sleep a couple extra hours.
- The ghosts can’t touch anything. Why the hell does Moaning Mertle’s Toilet explode with water?
- Hagrid is expelled an banned from performing and learning magic due to the “fact” that the Aragog was killing people. Chamber of secrets, it is shown that it wasn’t him. Why isn’t he apologized to and given full permissions again?
- SNAPE… He was headmaster of the school. Then he died… Why wasn’t his portrait in the hall?
- Harry has his mother’s eyes… but the actress playing Lilly has brown eyes.
- Why was Lilly allowed to magic away from school as a girl? Petunia said, “came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats”.
- Dumbledor was fighting Voldemort with the Elder wand. Why didn’t he just turn Voldemort into a greasy spot on the floor?
- when dumbledore meets tom riddle the first time, tom says he can speak to snakes. years later when the chamber of secrets is opened isnt tom the only one who could have done it?
- And why is Harry Potter NAKED with a HORSE?!?
Now don’t get me wrong… I have thoroughly enjoyed the movies… I just think about these things… I just get curious, dammit!