I just realized that Black Cat probably didn’t get back to me because they don’t have my email address!!! firstname.lastname@example.org – let me know your settlement offer… I’m really cheap!
I also was getting ready for bed and noticed something that terrified me…
MY TOENAILS ARE BLUE!
|Meep! She’s sweet, and knows her name, but
not really challenging on a conversational level.
I told Meep that my toenails are blue and she… Who’s meep? WHO’S MEEP?
Meep is my roommate’s cat. Well one of her two cats.
I told Meep that my toenails are blue and she looked at me and said, “Purrreeep.”
You read that right. That cat said, “Purrreeep.”
Well, I looked down at her and said, “That’s all well and good, but that really doesn’t address the fact that my toenails are faintly blue! I want to know why!”
She looked at me and blinked a couple times, thinking. Her response really impressed me… She said, “Well, dumbass, your hair and nails are both made out of keratin… It’s a tough protein that is naturally occurring in mammals. Since the Punky Colors – Atlantic Blue is formulated to color your hair, of COURSE it’s going to stain your nails.”
I thought about it for a second before a countered, “But… I didn’t put it ON my toes! So, HA!”
“You rinsed it out of your hair, didn’t you?”
I had to think about it for a second… And then touch my hair to make sure it wasn’t crispy because I had left it in. “Yes. I did.”
“Did you take your feet with you into the shower?”
I knew the answer to that one without thinking about it. “Yes. I did.”
She sighed and started talking to me like I was in 4th grade… I told you, it’s been one of those days. “When you rinsed your hair… the water fell to the bottom of the tub. Or at least I assume it did. You left the gravity on this time, right?” I nodded. “Your feet… and therefore your toenails were in the water, and they got stained in the process.”
“OHHHH! That’s a relief… I was afraid I’d stepped on a smurf. Now that we have that mystery solved and you’ve proved yourself so smart, I wanna ask you another question.”
“Fire away sport!”
“Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don’t have toes?”