The Care and Feeding of your Aspie

Care Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 68 – I conducted a social experiment… and it hurt

I recently conducted a social experiment. I admit it – it probably wasn’t ethical. I know it wasn’t approved by the National Psychiatric Association. It’s not accredited. However, it is accurate. Let’s start with a premise: Once your Aspie develops feelings for someone, those feelings are incredibly strong. This is any emotions – friendship, love,…

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The Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 65 – Okay… We’re going over it again… Vaccines don’t cause Autism

Since I have migrated over to this shiny new website, it has become easier for people to track me down. This means that people have been able to send me some email… Some of it kind of hateful… AND some of it is coming from the anti-vaccination crowd… I have spent the last couple weeks…

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The Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 63 – The doomed land of Aspergia

This piece is controversial in nature. Many Aspies will disagree with the sentiments expressed in this article. I mean no disrespect, and like many of the articles in this series, I only speak for myself. Aspergia – proper noun; A fictional country that is characterized by citizenship that is comprised exclusively (or almost exclusively) of…

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The Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 62 – A bit more on special interests

I should write a great deal… Let me reword that… I should write more on THIS series. But I can’t. Let me explain… Writing is one of my “Special Interests.” I discuss the basics of Special Interests HERE. As previously discussed, special interests are obsessive in nature and release hormones that create a sense of…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 60 – Repetitive Behaviors and Meaningless Ritual

I knew someone who compulsively sharpened pencils According to studies, Autistic Spectrum Individuals tend to engage in ritual behavior.  I have found many studies on the subject but the abstract on THIS ONE states it clearly and succinctly. “Ritual behaviour, while often considered as nonpurposeful or problematic, can also be regarded as functional behaviour for individuals with…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 58 – My Tummy Hurts.

There have been several studies in recent years that have revealed something interesting. According to these studies, more than 50% of Autistic Spectrum Individuals suffer from gastro-intestinal problems. Often there will be digestive problems, food allergies and the like. There has been a lot of discussion about these issues, but there is no one answer…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 57 – POV, Acceptance and the Need for Education

This entry was prompted by a discussion on Wrong Planet. It is a clarification of points made in a discussion about perceived violence from Autistic Spectrum Individuals… I am not going to be discussing the original topic, but instead focusing on my opinion of Point of View. I believe that there i a fundamental disconnect between…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 56 – Why Does He Have to Talk? – or – Nonverbal Events

I often pull inspiration for issues of this series from several sites that I belong to. This one comes from www.wrongplanet.net. A man is concerned about his son. The boy is 15 and lives with his mother in another state. The boy, recently has stopped talking to everyone but his father. He won’t speak to his…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 55 – You think YOUR teen years were hard.

When most people think back to their teenage years, they remember a time of tempestuous emotion, hormone changes, and other difficulties… I will say that I try not to minimize anyone’s personal experiences, but this is one time that I really have no choice… The changes of puberty are already a nightmare… Hormones – the…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 53 – Self Advocacy

These days, we hear the phrase “Self-advocacy” thrown a lot. But what, exactly, is self advocacy? The dictionary defines an advocate as “a person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc.” It goes on to define advocacy as “the act of pleading for, supporting, or recommending; active espousal:” So… at…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 51 – I have a diagnosis… and now the world seems to be filled with Autistics

First off, I would like to thank FNORD from www.wrongplanet.net for this topic. I started a thread on the website and asked people to offer up ideas for topics for the series… I have gotten a couple great suggestions.  So… You’ve gone through all the steps… You’ve started with the self assessment tests… You’ve talked to your…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 50 – I have Asperger’s… Now What?

So… I have dedicated a lot of words in this blog to the importance of getting an official diagnosis when dealing with… Well… I’ve focused on Asperger’s and Autism, but really… It is important to get a diagnosis for ANY mental health issue… but that is not what I need discuss to today… You finally…

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Care and Feeding of You Aspie: Supplemental – An Example of Aspie Decision Making and Dissonance Resolution

When I was young, I discovered a book that, LITERALLY changed my life. It’s not what you think. It wasn’t a self help book. It was fiction. It was a novel by Orson Scott Card – Ender’s Game. This was the first time I had read a book that understood how children think and talk.…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 46 – Are you going to let them… erm, you talk to you like that?

This is the kind of afternoon it was. Today, I spent a lovely afternoon with a close friend of mine. We’ve been talking about doing a photo shoot for the last few months. We finally got the time and were able to synchronize our schedules to get it done. While we were shooting, Nyx and…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 45 – Random Advice for Aspies

Sometimes… it’s ok Sometimes it is completely appropriate to be impolite.No, Seriously. Politeness, at times is an affront to one’s true feelings. If you are in a situation where politeness would TRULY be damaging to self esteem, cause excessive dissonance or psychological damage… Then it is appropriate, allowable and NECESSARY to eschew politeness. This is…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 44 – What’s with all this junk?

Before you read this piece, I KNOW that hoarding is not exclusively with Autism Spectrum Disorders or Asperger’s Syndrome… HOWEVER, Autistic Spectrum Disorders in general and Asperger’s Syndrome specifically are marked by obsessive tendencies and “Special Interests.” This is a lie… we need all the things Anyone that has had any hobbies knows that there…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 42 – Sometimes… I fail at being a human being

The following statements about species, genetics and the like are not based in fact and are really only intended to drive home the point. I used to simply let hyperbole stand, but it seems that wasn’t working… people did not seem to catch onto the fact that it was hyperbole for this reason… or that…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 41 – Retooling of Thought May Be In Order

I have been writing this series under a conception that was fostered by the basic classification of Asperger’s Syndrome. In the DSM, it has been listed as an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. And, as such, I have been approaching it from that precept… that Asperger’s and Autism are different manifestations of the same physical issues. I…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 40 – Self Diagnostics; where do I go from here?

With the prevalence of Autistic Spectrum Disorders, one needs to know… Often, adults with Autistic Spectrum Disorders or Asperger’s will suspect that there is something wrong. They will feel it in their bones. They will see the bewildered looks others give them in social situations and know something is wrong. They will find themselves overwhelmed…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Supplemental

Well… I’m stuck… I have run out of material… I need suggestions for topics… I think I have two more that I can cover… but I need suggestions… Images in this NON-issue SHAMELESSLY stolen from the following sources:http://lifeaftercaregiving.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/out-of-ideas.jpghttp://www.calebwilde.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/help-me.jpg

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 39 – Anxiety and Acting Out

The following is a description of anxiety according to the May Clinic: “Anxiety happens as a normal part of life. It can even be useful when it alerts you to danger. But for some people, anxiety persistently interferes with daily activities such as work, school or sleep. This type of anxiety can disrupt relationships and…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 37 – The Autistic Brain vs. The Neurotypical Brain; Visual Proof

High Definition Fiber Tracking… It’s been in the news recently… A LOT. HDFT is a form of Magnetic Resonance imaging that tacks the diffusion of water through neural tissue that transmits data throughout the brain. The study was conducted in two parts. The first part consisted of scans of of post-mortem human brains. The results…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 34 – Celebrities, Historical Figures and Fictional Characters

This originally started out as a rant. I was furious and I typed up a long diatribe that was supposed to be enlightening and funny and… well I don’t know what else it was supposed to be, but what I ended up with was an unintelligible mass of invective gibberish that made little (if any…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 31 – No… IT’S NOT CAUSED BY VACCINES!

I was gonna put an autism awareness imagehere, but they are all puzzles… this is better.  Let’s talk about autism… Specifically what causes it… ACTUALLY… what doesn’t cause it. There is a lot of talk in the media and on social media sites about what causes autism. Most of the time, these people are placing…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 29 – A Schism of Reasoning – Why We NEED the Classification of Disease.

This part of the series is a meandering essay on the negative perceptions associated with certain words, my thoughts on perceptions of language, NT perceptions and a framework of understanding needed for advocacy. Some of the conversations I was in while researching this specific issue were a bit heated… and I will admit, I got…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 27 – Things that Every Autist Wishes You Knew

Since this guide is designed to facilitate communication and interpersonal relationships between Neurotypicals and Aspies, this entry is long over due. This is a list I have compiled from all over the web of things that Autistic Spectrum Individuals wish that Neurotypicals knew. These are not in any particular order, so please do not lend…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 25 – Depression

Let’s discuss Autistic Spectrum individuals and Depression. Studies have shown that Autistic Spectrum individuals suffer from depression at a higher than average rate than the mean. That is to say, there is a higher incidence of Depression in Autistic Spectrum individuals than there is in Neurotypicals. Several studies have also claimed genetic markers in common…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 24 – Aspies, Pain and Perception

I have heard the Neurotypicals in my life comment on my processing and perceptions of pain. As a result, my sister (also Aspie) and I had a long conversation about Autistic perceptions, Neurotypical Perceptions and pain. We came to some interesting conclusions.  Often, you will notice some odd things about your Autist and their tolerance…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 23 – Parents of Autists and Socialization

Parents of Autists (Autistic Spectrum individuals) want the best for their children. On of the biggest issues for Autists is socialization. The inability of their child to socialize in any meaningful way breaks many parent’s hearts. Parents will often seek to foster interpersonal relationships.  There are some common approaches that many parents take in this…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 22 – Information Processing and Autistic Spectrum Individuals

Behavioral models are boring diagrams, so here’s anawesome spaceship model. I like it, a lot. When psychiatrists discuss behavior, they refer to “models”. There have been numerous models used to describe the behaviors associated with autism in the years since scientists accepted that there is a neurological basis for the condition. While none of them…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 21 – Social Perceptions, Clothes, Intent and Feelings

Dating can be difficult for your Aspie for a number of reasons. Most of them, at least by my reckoning, are because of the expectations, perceptions and expectations of Neurotypicals. The reason this part doesn’t mention dating in the title is that this extends beyond the realm of dating and into many social situations as…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: supplimental – I am what I am… And that will NOT change

The following is an open letter to the world. I write this as an Autism Self Advocate… I write this as an Autistic Spectrum individual… I write this as a self proclaimed champion of the rights and perceptions of other Autistic Spectrum individuals. Unlike Autism Speaks, I do not claim to be THE authority on…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 19 – To Cure or Not to Cure?

The following statements are from personal experience and reasoning. I have Asperger’s Syndrome and am considered High Functioning by most standards. So, I can only speak for myself as the information applies to other High Functioning individuals. I do not have a frame of reference, nor do I claim to speak for those with greater…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 18 – Rules to Help Aspies Navigate the NT World

This is a departure from the rest of the series. I have been writing this primarily to assist Neurotypicals in understanding their Aspies. In this part, I will be imparting some of the myriad social rules that we are inundated with throughout our lives. These will seem nonsensical to most NTs, but I assure you…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 17 – Aspies and Health Care Professionals

With the high rate of co-morbid conditions that accompany Asperger’s syndrome, and their secondary effects, skin problems, digestion issues, joint problems and any of the complications associated with anxiety disorders, it can be a chore to make sure your Aspie is taken care of, medically speaking. Which brings us to another issue – getting your…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 16 – Intelligence, Neurotypicals and Relations

Intelligence is a difficult thing to measure and quantify. Modern psychology does its best, but sometimes falls short in measuring it effectively. The best measurement that is available today is the Intelligence Quotient, or IQ. This score is calculated from a set of standardized tests to asses intelligence. William Stern is responsible for the label…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 12 – Your Aspie and Special Interests

Aspies (in fact, all high functioning autistics) have obsessive behaviors and interests. In the Aspie community, the term “Special Interests” has been adopted to refer to these behaviors. Special interests are exactly what they sound like – an interest that holds the attention of our scattered thought patterns. The reason these are “Special” interests is…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 11 – Autistic Spectrum Individuals and Sexuality

It doesn’t matter who you talk to, EVERYONE wants to fit in, to be loved, to be wanted. It is a basic HUMAN need. In spite of the fact that people OFTEN (this is not a blanket statement… it does not mean all  non-AS individuals) treat Autistic Spectrum individuals differently than they do others, we…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Supplemental – Response to a reader comment

I participate on a couple Autistic Spectrum message boards. On one of these, I have been sharing this series – partly as a form of shameless self promotion; partly to get feedback and further ideas for the series; and partly to help others understand our condition. Recently a comment was made on the board that…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 9 – Comorbidity and Your Aspie

Aspie weirdness  Aspies are, on the best of days, considered weird by NTs. A lot of that is just the Asperger’s, but at other times, it might be something else. Autistic Spectrum Disorders have a high incidence of comorbid conditions. What does this mean?  Well, comobidity is either the presence of one or more disorders…

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Care and Feeding of your Aspie: Part 8 – Autism… It IS a disease.

Autistic Spectrum individuals and Parents/Family members of Autistic Spectrum individuals tend to rankle at the following statement.  Autism is a disease.  I find it odd that a group of people who are noted for their literal nature would react with such vehemence to such a simple statement.  The medical definition of a disease is “an…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 5 – Cognitive Dissonance, Decision Making and Communication

It kind of feels like this Cognitive dissonance is defined as the discomfort experienced when simultaneously holding two or more conflicting cognitions: ideas, beliefs, values or emotional reactions. In a state of dissonance, people may sometimes feel “disequilibrium”: frustration, hunger, dread, guilt, anger, embarrassment, anxiety, etc. After reading those two statements, you are asking yourself, “What…

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Care and Feeding of Your Aspie: Part 3 – Aspies and Stress

It is common for people with Aspergers to be upset by little things throughout their day. It can happen quickly and relatively easily. Sometimes, the least little thing can set your Aspie off. Aspies and Autistic Spectrum Individuals often suffer from stress from environmental influences that other people would either take in stride or not…