The Care and Feeding Of Your Aspie – Index

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Update. “The Care and Feeding of Your Aspie” is now available in printed form for those who are not able to enjoy, read, focus on a screen!

Click on the book cover to order

This is the index for my series “The Care and Feeding of Your Aspie.” When a new issue of the series is released, I will update this index with the name of the new issue, and a brief synopsis to make it easy to find what you are looking for… HOPEFULLY.

Part 01 – Introduction
This is the beginning of the series. A basic explanation of the intent and format of the series as well as a few suggested rules for Neurotypical/Aspie Interaction. It is not intended to be exhaustive or inclusive, just a beginning.

Part 02 – Sensory Issues
Sensory issues are common in those with Autistic Spectrum Disorders. This issue discusses some of the possible complications due to sensory issues or sensory overload.

Part 03 – Aspies and Stress
Stress, in Aspies, can be a real issue. Stress reduction techniques that work for Neurotypicals often don’t work for Aspies. This issue discusses some of the problems that Aspies experience in relation to stress.

Part 04 – So Your Aspie is Upset
I discuss some reasons that your Aspie might be experiencing agitation. This issue mainly focuses on things that NTs have said to Autistic Spectrum Individuals and explains why they are upsetting to your Aspie.

Part 05 – Cognitive Dissonance, Decision Making and Communication
I discuss the mechanisms behind decision making in the Neurotypical brain (a process called “Cognitive Dissonance” and the differences in Autistic Dissonance Processing as well as communicating ideas and thoughts beyond this process.

Part 06 – Some Advice for Parents of Young Autistics
I diverge from my usual audience and address the parents of Autistic children and teens directly in an attempt to help them understand their young one’s condition a bit better.

Part 07 – Tantrum Avoidance
Autistic Spectrum Disorders are noted for having violent emotional outbursts. I discuss some possible methods to avoid these outbursts and diffuse the situation before it becomes untenable.

Part 08 – Autism: It is a disease
The word disease is a source of consternation for many Autistic Spectrum Individuals and the people that love them. I discuss the use of the word disease as it applies to Autistic Spectrum Disorders.

Part 09 – Comorbidity and Your Aspie
Comorbid is the term for conditions that commonly appear together. This issue covers conditions that are commonly found with Asperger’s and Autistic Spectrum Disorders and how they react together.

 Part 10 – Food Issues
Almost every Aspie I know of has issues with foods, whether it be texture, taste, appearance or emotional implications associated with different foods. We discuss why.

Part 11 – Autistic Spectrum Individuals and Sexuality
This issue has been called “controversial”. I discuss common sexuality issues associated with Autistic Spectrum Individuals and offer some advice in response to them. My advice is what most considered controversial.

Part 12 – Your Aspie and Special Interests
Aspies and Autistic Spectrum Individuals have obsessive interests that are commonly referred to as “Special Interests”. I discuss the chemical processes associated with engaging in these special interests and their effects on your Aspie’s psyche.

Part 13 – Demystifying Asperger’s Myths
There are a lot of misunderstandings surrounding Asperger’s. This issue is devoted to clarifying a lot of misconceptions surrounding Autistic Spectrum Disorders.

 Part 14 – Pets, The Death Of and Grieving
Autistic Spectrum Individuals are often VERY attached to the animals in their life. We discuss the nature of these connections and the grieving process as it applies to us.

Part 15 – Jobs, Stress and Your Aspie
Jobs are hard for NTs. In some cases, it can be harder for Autistic Spectrum Individuals. It is estimated that 80% of Autistic Spectrum Individuals do not have full time jobs. We talk about why.

Part 16 – Intelligence Neurotypicals and Relations
We discuss intelligence as it pertains to Autistic Spectrum Disorders and Neurotypicals as well as the perceptions of the same. The topics of disclosure, common ground, and masks and how they pertain to the Aspie in your life.

Part 17 – Aspies and Health Care Professionals
Doctors can make Aspies nervous. Treating Aspies can be infuriating to doctors. Ever wondered why? This might give you some idea.

Part 18 – Rules to Help Aspies Navigate the NT World
This issue is a departure from the standard format. This is a list of rules that has been compiled for Aspies themselves. While worded in a humorous manner, these are serious rules and should help a lot of Aspies navigate the pitfalls of the NT World.

Part 19 – To Cure or Not To Cure?
Some groups push for a cure. Others are staunchly in the “I am me and that is fine” camp. I discuss this and put my two cents in, as well.

Supplemental: I am what I am… And that will NOT change
An open letter to the world addressing the fact that I am outspoken and will not stop it.

Part 20 – What IS neurotypical, anyway?
I answer the question that I have heard many Autistic Spectrum Individuals ask on several occasions. What is Neurotypical?

Part 21 – Aspies, Outrage and Fairness
The first part 21 (I made a boo boo, and it is a pain in the butt to go back and correct all the numbers). It can be difficult for Aspies to exist due to the inherent inequalities of the world around them. With a deep resonant desire for truth, these inequalities can be difficult to deal with. We discuss that.

Part 21 – Social Perceptions, Clothes, Intent and Feelings
The second part 21 (I made a boo boo, and it is a pain in the butt to go back and correct all the numbers). So… Your Aspie doesn’t dress in cool clothes. They wear what is comfortable. What may be comfortable and acceptable in the autistic world, may not be acceptable to NTs… And here’s why.

Part 22 – Information Processing and Autistic Spectrum Individuals
We talk about the concept of over-stimulation, differences in information processing between NTs and Autistics and look at a model of a spaceship.

Part 23 – Parents of Autists and Socialization
We talk about socialization and the difficulties involved with socialization for Aspies.

Part 24 – Aspies, Pain and Perception
We discuss the differences between Aspie and NT pain perceptions – physical differences, perception, fear and anticipation are among the differences and we look at the differences involved.

Part 25 – Depression
Studies show that Autistic Spectrum Individuals are prone to depression. We discuss what depression really is and how it can affect your Aspie.

Part 26 – Meltdowns
The Dreaded “M” word. It happens… and sometimes cannot be avoided. I discuss how distinguish between tantrums and meltdowns.

Supplemental: Another View on Depression
Travel to Hyperbole and a Half and take a look at another way to view depression.

Part 27 – Things that Every Autist Wishes You Knew
A series of small bits of information that are important for everyone to know about Autistic Spectrum Disorders. These are collected from several sources, and from many Autists over the world.

Part 28 – Aspies, Bullies and Being Bullied
We talk about language, bullies and the autistic spectrum. Due to the imprecise nature of language, ANYONE can be misunderstood and make it seem that ANYONE is being a bully. We discuss the concept that “the burden of communication falls upon the communicator.”

Part 29 – A Schism of Reasoning – Why we NEED the Classification of Disease
This part of the series is a meandering essay on the negative perceptions associated with certain words, my thoughts on perceptions of language, NT perceptions and a framework of understanding needed for advocacy.

Part 30 – ADHD and Austistic Spectrum Disorders
Another in my series about comorbid conditions: we discuss Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and how it relates to my Asperger’s. I also give you a visual example of what ADHD is actually like.

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No. It’s not. This issue is a bit of a rant, but it gives a basic lesson in chemistry and why the anti-vaxxers are just silly.

Part 32 – Sometimes, I just don’t have anything to say!
Small talk is difficult for Autistic Spectrum Individuals. I try to explain why that is. I think I do a good job, but since even talking about the concept of talking about inconsequentials is difficult, I might not.

Part 33 – Money Matters
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, obsessive interests, and money… Oh, my! We discuss the need for survival training for your Aspie, lest (s)he go on spending sprees that lead to destitution.

Part 34 – Celebrities, Historical Figures and Fictional Characters
This issue is directed at Autistic Spectrum Individuals and those that are not that try to find it everywhere. We discuss why fictional characters, celebrities and long dead historical figures should not be “diagnosed”. Hint 1: because we’re not qualified to make a diagnosis. Hint 2: because we aren’t interacting with the people on a personal level, so cannot make that diagnosis.

Part 35 – Asperger’s is Real
In spite of a common misconception, over-diagnosis and elimination from the DSM Asperger’s is real. We discuss that more in depth.

Part 36 – Workplace Policies and Asperger’s
Should you tell your boss that you have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder? Well, let’s talk about that. We talk about the emotional impact and the legal aspects of it.

Part 37 – The Autistic Brain vs. The Neurotypical Brain; Visual Proof
Recent advances in medical scanning technology has led to the advent of “High Definition Fiber Tracking.” This new technology allows us to actually see the nerve bundles and fibers in the brain in real time. We compare NT brains versus an image of Temple Grandin’s brain.

Part 38 – Boundaries and your Aspie
Boundaries are often social constructs that the NT world absorb automatically. According to some people, Aspies are unable to respect boundaries because of the way we are wired. We discuss this in depth.

Part 39 – Anxiety and Acting Out
We discuss the effects of anxiety as applied to Asperger’s. It starts with a statement from the Mayo Clinic and continues through personal experience and possible outlets for anxiety.

Part 40 – Self Diagnostics; where do I go from here?
In the past, I have stated that a “self diagnosis” is no diagnosis at all. We cover what to do after self diagnosis and how to proceed with a professional diagnosis and why it needs to progress PAST the self diagnosis stage.

Part 41 – Retooling of Thought May Be In Order
Is Asperger’s actually an Autistic Spectrum Disorder? Recent breakthroughs in scanning techniques have led to imaging techniques that will allow us to see the nerve bundles and fibers in the brain and may allow us to see a difference in Autistic and Asperger’s brains.

Part 42 – Sometimes… I fail at being a human being
NTs, Aspies and Autistics… What we have here – is a failure to communicate… Why do we all baffle each other in our attempts to speak to one another?

Part 43 – There is no way that is me!
Body Dismorphia, Residual Self Image… What ever you call it, being distressed because the guy in the mirror isn’t what you expect him to be can be exceptionally distressing.

Part 44 – What’s with all this junk?
Special interests, hobbies, crafts… They all have a certain amount of junk that goes with them. Your Aspie probably has a bunch of clutter in their home from it. Believe it or not, it’s necessary.

Part 45 – Random Advice for Aspies
Some advice for Aspies – Most of it is geared to show that it is okay to be what we are.

Part 46 – Are you going to let them… erm, you talk to you like that?
Self esteem is a hard won aspect of an Aspie’s psyche. We discuss why we address ourselves in a negative manner and why we allow ourselves to be asses to the one person we SHOULD be really nice to.

Part 47 – The Date Night Conundrum
So… You want to date an aspie? Get ready for the first date. With our tendency to stick to things we know, dating Aspies can be a bit boring for NTs.

Part 48 – Aren’t we all just a little Autistic?
We discuss what sets Autistics and NTs apart and the fact that this question annoys me to no end.

Conversational pitfalls, NTs And Aspies. Sometimes, it’s hard for an Aspie to order their thoughts in a way that allows them to communicate. Interrupting that flow of thought can make it even harder for your Aspie to communicate.

Part 50 – I have Asperger’s… Now What?
You have an actual diagnosis… How should you proceed?

Part 51 – I have a diagnosis… and now the world seems to be filled with Autistics
Autistic Spectrum Individuals are pattern seeking machines… even moreso than NTs. Once we have a diagnosis, we tend to notice the Autistic Traits in others.

Part 52 – The Pitfalls of Excessive Self Esteem
With the current tendency of parents and mental health care professionals to state that “There is nothing wrong with you, you are just wired differently,” It is possible for an Autistic Spectrum Individual to fall into that trap and believe it so much that we can lose the benefits of treatment because – “we don’t need to change.”

Part 53 – Self Advocacy
Why let someone else speak for you? Especially since no one can truly KNOW what it is like to be you. So… Become a SELF-ADVOCATE.

Part 54 – You aren’t Autistic… You HAVE autism
We discuss the Politically Correct movement and why I don’t want you to tell me how to label myself.

Part 55 – You think YOUR teen years were hard
Autistic Spectrum Disorders, Puberty, High school and more. It’s a perfect storm of awkward!

Part 56 – Why does he have to talk? -or- Nonverbal Events
Sometimes, your Aspie can become Non-verbal. We discuss what that means and how to proceed – sometimes silence is the best option.

Part 57 – POV, Acceptance and the Need for Education
Point Of View… Acceptance of what an Autistic Spectrum Individual is, and the Need for Education of Neurotypicals to understand who and what we are.

Part 58 – My Tummy Hurts
Studies show a high incidence of gut problems in Autistic Spectrum Individuals. How does this affect your Aspie’s mentality and over-all health?

Part 59 – I just don’t like him
Sometimes, your Aspie will react badly to someone. This issue tries to explain why.

Part 60 – Repetitive behaviors and meaningless ritual
What may seem like meaningless ritual to you serves a purpose for your Aspie. Anxiety reduction, mental focus exercises or simple endorphin release… These behaviors are all important.

Part 61 – I don’t know what to call this
This is an essay about how my camera allows me to view the world and separate myself from things enough to focus. It is a personal perspective on how to reduce my own stress and anxiety using a special interest as a focus.

Part 62 – A bit more on special interests
We delve a little deeper into the subject of Special Interests, developing classifications for them – Information Interests, Collecting Interests, and Skill Interests. We also talk about the obsessive and compulsive nature of these interests.

Part 63 – The doomed land of Aspergia
Aspergia is a mythical place… a country of, for and by Aspies… And I think it is doomed… This article explains why.

Part 64 – Aspies and Religion
We discuss Aspies and their choice of religion… you might be surprised by the results.

Part 65 – Okay… We’re going over it again… Vaccines don’t cause Autism
Autistm is not caused by vaccines. I state that I am willing to listen to opposing viewpoints on this, but ONLY with citations. Then we provide links and summaries of the current wisdom and thoughts of the scientific community on the subject.

Part 66 – Travelling with Your Aspie
Travelling can be a nightmare when you are dealing with an Autistic Spectrum Individual. This issue covers some the ways to help make travelling with your Aspie less painful.

8 thoughts on “The Care and Feeding Of Your Aspie – Index

    1. It has been something on the table for a while… just had to figure it out… Originally, we were trying to figure out how to do it on the blogspot site… then we discovered a word press plugin that allowed for complete importation of the original site… so we decided to move it and it was much easier.

  1. My NT husband will not read anything online, but he will read most published non-fiction hardcover.

    I need him to know this stuff.

    Therefore, please: PUBLISH THIS BLOG.

    Or is it already available in hardcover and my library just sucks to not have it?

  2. Thanks for doing this! I am 57 years old, and only began to suspect that I was an Aspie about five years ago. I had a formal diagnosis a little over two years ago. I’ve read some of the “Care and Feeding” pieces, and will read more. (Can you say “special interest?’) Obviously, you’ve put a lot of thought and research into this (of course, you might say!). You generally hit the nail on the head, and say things that both Aspies and the NTs in their lives need to know and accept. Thanks again!

    1. As I have said before. I appreciate all feed back, but these messages make me continue doing what I am doing… it means that I helped someone

  3. Sir, after having read through the entire blog for the “Care and Feeding”, I simply must say thank you. Many of the things you discussed I have struggled with but did not understand or even realize. I’m sure, given some time for pondering, I may have other insights of my own to offer. My NT wife is currently reading through this segment of your blog as well. As she reads through it, we have had opportunities for communications that we have never had before. Not for lack of due diligence, but because many things about me were not understood. I look forward to the possibility of future writings on this topic. Once again, thank you for putting these things to words.

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